A news commentator asked, “How does an FBI investigation work?”

After Dr. Blasey Ford and Judge Kavanaugh’s televised testimonies, this question may be on the minds of many.

The television coverage transported me back fifty-eight years when an FBI background check involved my boyfriend, Bob Jellen. It began with a frantic phone call from my mother who lived in Shenandoah, a small coal-mining town in Pennsylvania.

Alone in my Philadelphia apartment, panic set it. “The FBI! What did they want to know?”

It was 1960 and Bob had applied for an entry-level position with the FBI in Washington, D.C. As part of the screening process, a government employee called and interviewed Bob’s neighbors, teachers, and classmates.

Surely, someone from the Philadelphia field office would interrogate me, his fiancé. I was prepared to tell them Bob was a kind, life-of-the-party boyfriend.

When the call came, an agent recited a date and asked if I was in Wildwood, New Jersey with Robert Jellen.

“No,” I answered.

He continued. “Were you with Mr. Jellen in Frackville, Pennsylvania in January of 1960?”

Again, my answer was, “No, I was not.I live in Philly.”

The interviewer revealed that in the summer of 1959 Bob was in a bar fight at the Jersey shore. Six months later, during a cold Pennsylvania winter, he was involved in another drinking brawl.

This was not the way my boyfriend behaved with me. The must have the wrong person. Why didn’t our mutual friends tell me about these fights.  Yet, the FBI knew. They even had the dates and locations! Who could have told them?

I thought I knew everything about Bob. I definitely knew it was up to me to me to tell my fun-loving sweetheart, “Stop, you’ve had enough.”

My codependent denial kept from me admitting his drinking was getting out of control, especially when I wasn’t there to monitor him.

What about you? Are you putting yourself within fist’s reach? If so, investigate your own dysfunctional behavior before you become a victim of abuse. You deserve to be safe. I pray you will learn to speak up and recognize your worth!

I will take pleasure in your laws and remember your words (Psalm 119:16 CEV).