Before Al-Anon, TGIF meant it was time to put on the party clothes and hit the local taproom with my spouse. Funny thing, I used to look forward to the weekends until they became unmanageable. It was then I realized I had my own problem to deal with. The self-delusion believing I could control or cure someone else’s drinking proved how little I understood about the disease of addiction.
It wasn’t long before my Woo Hoo its Friday feelings shifted from party mode to miserable. Not one to give up, I told myself, You can fix this, Diane. If anyone can make a leopard change his spots you can.
When I failed to change my loved one, I felt angry, irritated, frustrated, and unloved. Like me, how many of my fellow codependents have echoed, “If you really love me you would stop drinking, using, gambling, lying?”
Thanks to the 12 Steps, my enabling weekends are behind me. I am learning to love myself. Just for today, I am making the decision to feel zany. When tomorrow comes, I may choose happy, thankful, youthful even!
What about you, what positive emotion and feelings will you chose to wear this weekend?
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25 NIV).
