Before Al-Anon, TGIF meant it was time to put on the party clothes and hit the local taproom with my spouse. Funny thing, I used to look forward to the weekends until they became unmanageable. It was then I realized I had my own problem to deal with. The self-delusion believing I could control or cure someone else’s drinking proved how little I understood about the disease of addiction.
It wasn’t long before my Woo Hoo its Friday feelings shifted from party mode to miserable. Not one to give up, I told myself, You can fix this, Diane. If anyone can make a leopard change his spots you can.
When I failed to change my loved one, I felt angry, irritated, frustrated, and unloved. Like me, how many of my fellow codependents have echoed, “If you really love me you would stop drinking, using, gambling, lying?”