Living with someone who was not working a12-Step program—those were my anxiety-training years.
One of the lessons I tried to master during this frantic-fitness training was to control my wild thoughts as I waited for the police to call and tell me my alcohol abuser was arrested for a DUI, or worst. The call never came, but weekend after weekend it still played out in my head.
Other courses I worked on in my Panic Attack classes were:
- How to stop visualizing my loved one bleeding to death in a car accident.
- Smiling on the outside, while exploding on the inside.
- Waiting for the other shoe to drop—while walking on eggs, of course!
- Practice how to “hold my fire” as I prayed for my loved one to take the first step and admit his life had become unmanageable.
- The results of this hands-on enabling wore me down.
- In the end, I admitted I, too, had a problem.
- My life had definitely become unmanageable.
Finally! With the help of Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholic training, I graduated from my manic mode. My thoughts became more realistic. I studied the steps to serenity and, Yahoo! logic began to fill my head.
Oh, Lord, in my times of testing, help me turn my anxious thoughts into a festival of praise. have faith and not doubt (James 1:5-6 CEV).
