All 12-Step programs work if we’re honest with ourselves. And to be honest, my effort to stop controlling and fixing others has been a long, hard process. I won’t lie. I follow the steps, attend meetings, sponsor, and mentor friends will similar shortcomings. I’ve even written self-help books and articles! Yet, I still face challenges when it comes to detachment.

Through the years, however, I came to the realization that if I focus on getting myself healthy, I would become strong enough to understand what the wisdom of Detaching with love really means. And it does not mean loving our substance abusers less. It means loving them more.

That’s when I came up with the Detach Not Abandon guidelines shown above. I began with Tip #1 Disengage from guilt. I don’t know about you, but for me, guilt is a killer. It kills my hope. Guilt whispers in my ear, and if I allow it, guilt will blame me for what I do, and condemn me for what I have failed to do.

Just for today, let’s work on disengaging from the lies guilt tries to inject into our every thought and action.

Just for today, let’s Discover New Alternatives!

Just for today, let’s accept the deep love that comes when we Detach Not Abandon.