Are you having trouble setting healthy boundaries? Some enablers are not even aware we are “allowed” to have boundaries. When we learn how to develop honest relationships with others, we will find the self-respect we seek.

Determining the appropriateness of our current boundaries is a vital step in the recovery process. Several enlightening questions we can ask ourselves include:

• Am I angry?

• Do I feel used?

• Do I feel violated?

• Do I feel resentful?

• Do I feel isolated?

• Do I feel frightened?

• Do I feel like a child?

Are my boundaries(or lack of them) allowing me to maintain healthy relationships with others and myself?  

The most important point to remember in establishing boundaries is that we need to listen to and fully consider our own feelings first–not other people’s.

Before recovery, we may have allowed others to control and possibly even dominate us, or we may have tried to do the same to them.

As recovering codependents, we need to continually rediscover boundaries and practice setting them . . . .

Learning to set healthy boundaries helps free us from our lifelong patterns of codependency. We can care for ourselves and know peace.

The excerpts above are from CoDA, Inc. Conference Endorsed Literature, Item 4104.

For more insights into developing healthy boundaries, check out the CoDA following link.

Salt is excellent. But if the salt goes flat, it’s useless, good for nothing.

“Are you listening to this? Really listening?” (Luke 14:34 MSG).