There is a difference between being humble and humiliated.
In The Life Recovery Workbook, we’re reminded, “we have been through a lot of humiliating experiences. We have been humiliated by the consequences of addiction. . .. Humility [on the other hand] is a quality of spirit that opens the door of our hearts to God. It has nothing to do with humiliation and shame. Humility is an attitude in which we see ourselves in totality, the good and bad parts, the honesty and dishonesty, . . . admitting the negative as well as the positive is a sign of authenticity” (Arterburn & Stoop, 2007. p. 60-61).
For controlling codependents, however, admitting our humanness is not easy. Somewhere we learned we had to be superhuman. If we wanted something done, we had better do it ourselves. And it better be done perfectly. If not, humiliation and shame would follow. Where is the Spirit of God in that falsehood?
As we walk the 12 Steps to freedom, our spiritual sense–God’s supernatural Spirit will grow in us. When we seek to find our goodness in Him, we will find the gift of true Humility.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:29-30 MSG).