As National Recovery Month comes to an end, there is one thing we must keep in mind. For every addict, there is a co-addict—an enabler who, in order to get well, must consider the truth of Step One. That his or her life has also become unmanageable.


Until we face our own dysfunctional behavior it will be passed on to our children, our children’s children, and their children. I’m sure you get the picture.

Following are two definitions of how enabling is not in anyone’s best interest.

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship (emphasis added). . . . people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. . . . Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

def of codependency

“Codependency can be defined as any relationship in which two people become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently anymore,” Dr. Jonathan Becker DO, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee says. “Your mood, happiness, and identity are defined by the other person.

“In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live (emphasis added).” By Beth Gilbert Medically Reviewed by Judy Mouchawar, MD, MSPH 

Hot-tempered people must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again (Proverbs 19:19 NLT).